Monday, August 8, 2011

He lives in me

First and for most ... I want you to read this blog as though I'm not writing it. I want you to see the Holy Spirit through me - not to my glory. I wanted to write, because it's therapy. I can get my thoughts out on paper and clear my mind. 

I also want this to be an outlet for people struggling with the same things (embarrassment, public eye, humility, pride, etc.) The e-mails, text messages and Facebook messages have all been wonderful and uplifting. When I finish reading one, I feel guilty. They usually say, "You're so inspiring. You.. You... You." THAT bothers me. I know the words are from a pure heart (and good motives), but it convicted me. Mary Kathleen could've NEVER gone through this without Jesus. I am nothing without Him. These words are not mine... they're His. Although I put useless information on here, I want to glorify God... not Mary or Daniel. Don't get me wrong, we LOVE all the sweet messages, but I just felt convicted. Thank you for responding in a loving way. Remember, Jesus brought me through this and He will continue to guide us along life's path. 

Kari Jobe's "Jesus, Lover of my Soul"

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who lives, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20

Second, I take back my statement about cooking from the last post. I tried to cook red beans and rice (Louisiana style... 4 hours) and on hour 3 I fell asleep. Before I took a nap, I told Daniel to please stir occasionally. He ended up falling asleep and the beans burned- surprise. I tried to salvage them, but it wasn't worth it. Our whole apartment smelled like burned red beans - fail #2346. Also, I made meatballs for spaghetti and forgot to put foil under the grid sheet. The oil fell to the bottom of the oven and our house was smoky once again! Daniel and I finally went on a walk to escape the smoke- fail #2347. To those who are contemplating a wedding gift, candles are needed! I CAN make rice and salsa, it's not all bad.

(red beans... what might've been)

(wedding food - thank you, Beaches/Singletons/ Pyrons!)

(enjoying salsa!)

(shaw and kirk came to visit)

Third, I need to stop and reflect on the past situation. A friend reminded me this week to thank Clinton. She didn't know until 2 days before the wedding that I was pregnant. Clinton has respected me and my family. Like Daniel said in his rehearsal dinner speech, "We thought we would come home to stones being thrown." Negative - Clinton has responded in the best way possible. Of course, people talked but it wasn't bad talk. After being scared in the beginning, I freaked out about Clinton. Why did I do that? The Lord has taught me so much in 2 months. Again, thank you small town Clinton for respecting me. 

Lastly, Daniel and I went to the doctor today- everything was great. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. We'll know September 8th if the navel orange is a boy or girl. 

(can my child please look like this? praying for his/her salvation)

I pray, Father, that out of your glorious riches you may strengthen me with power through your Spirit in my inner being, so that Christ may dwell in my heart through faith. And I pray that I, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge--that I may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all I ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within me, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. [from Ephesians 3:16-21]

One of my favorites - also read at our wedding. Thanks, Julie Tigrett!

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