Thursday, August 11, 2011


No guilt in life... that was my first thought Tuesday morning. While Daniel and I were dating, our biggest struggle was staying pure with each other until marriage. We were guilty. Our prayer was, Hebrews 10: 22, "Let us go right into the presence of God with sincere hearts fully trusting him. For our guilty consciences have been sprinkled with Christ's blood to make us clean, and our bodies have been washed with pure water." After talking with friends over the past 2 years, I found out it's completely normal to struggle. Since we knew each other so well (and for so long), the obstacle was getting harder and harder. I would talk to my close friends, and we would share in our struggle (so helpful). I was always too prideful to tell them all the details- really dumb of me. Daniel and I had the "let's just get married" talk all the time. We would repeatedly bring up 1 Corinthians 7: 36, "If anyone is worried that he might not be acting honorably toward the virgin he is engaged to, and if his passions are too strong and he feels he ought to marry, he should do as he wants. He is not sinning. They should get married." After contemplating, we decided that was probably not the best idea. He still had a year of school, and I had the best job - I wasn't leaving Jackson. That was also dumb of us. We needed to honor the Lord by getting married, than continuing to live in sin. There were so many worldly pressures upon us. We were weak. 

I tell you this because I know the fight you are all facing (if you're a Christian). If you're a non-Christian, this will not make sense... at all. It's the complete opposite of what a non-Christian believes. Back to my point - we know the fight. We're very familiar with the fight. The fight of sexual immorality. It reminds me a lot of Paul struggling in Romans 7: 14-20 "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16 And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17 As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18 For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.[a] For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19 For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it." That might be a hard concept to grasp, but it's so true. 

A lot of our friends are engaged/dating and struggling. Let me tell you, marriage is a beautiful thing. Not only is that fight over, but our relationship has changed so much. It's absolute freedom. We barely argue (I know, 1.5 into marriage). Our main focus was on lifting each other up in the Lord and not letting one stumble. It's still the same, but in a new way. There's no guilt in life. My friend, Lauren Host, brought up a good point months ago. She said, "Y'all broke up, because you just needed to get married." THAT was so true. We let the devil win, separate two Christians and cause chaos. Daniel and I love each other. We needed to get married. 

Tim Keller is releasing a new book in November called, "The Meaning of Marriage". Here's an excerpt. I can't wait to order it. "Modern culture would make you believe that everyone has a soul-mate; that romance is the most important part of a successful marriage; that your spouse is there to help you realize your potential; that marriage does not mean forever, but merely for now; that starting over after a divorce is the best solution to seemingly intractable marriage issues. All those modern-day assumptions are, in a word, wrong." It's hard in the changing world to stand up for what you believe in. I believe strongly about marriage and joining two believers. Marriage is just a symbol of the Lord (bridegroom) returning for his church (the bride). Hebrews 9: 27-28,  "And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment, So Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many; and unto them that look for him shall he appear the second time without sin unto salvation."
(pastor of Redeemer Church in New York City)

From a biblical perspective, marriage is to be with one man and one woman. There is to be no hint of sexual immorality (Ephesians 5:3). Ephesians 5: 21-33 explains it as, "21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." We knew all of that, front and back. We believed in marriage, but wanted to wait for our time. 

Again, I write this to join in your struggle and to also encourage. There is a light at the end of the tunnel... FREEDOM. Ecclesiastes 4:9, "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work." Fight the good fight. There are people to lean on. THAT is the church... not a building, but believers.

Ecclesiastes 4:12 "A cord of three strands is not easily broken."

1 comment:

  1. Amen. Amen. and Amen. to ALL of that! Lord knows this girl can relate!!! Marriage is so liberating... sometimes I still have to pinch myself! I love your honesty and transparency... it's so refreshing. Y'all are living proof that God works "everything together for good, for those who love Him and are called according to his purpose." I love reading your cute little blog! Keep it up girly!