the "old" me

If you know me, at all, you know I do not meet a stranger. Contrary to my childhood of being shy, I am now a people person. I am an extravert, where my husband has, over time, become an introvert. Maybe I am overbearing? I don't think I am. Or maybe he has hung our with Crawford too much? Haha... back to my story. I love people.

In the past year, I have been a stay-at-home mom of a one year old. Let me emphasize the "stay-at-home" part. That's what we do. This girl was not used to staying inside (ok, other than running errands) for months. We really couldn't go anywhere until her morning nap was over, but who am I kidding? I didn't get out of my robe until she laid down for her morning nap. I would've frightened people if I walked out of my house. I tried to get out at least one time a day. We would go to the park, play with friends or visit the Tigretts. I love my low-key, simple life, but something was missing. I was absolutely 100% exhausted. Being Harper's mom (disciplinarian, chef, diaper changer, 24 hour entertainer, milk provider (ha), security guard, comedian, chauffeur, doctor, etc.) is a great gift. Do not get me wrong. I love every minute, but I needed some time to myself. 

Last weekend, a friend from high school (she went to Oak Forest - we actually high jumped against each other)Tiffany Travis Pittman, contacted me about Rodan + Fields. I read the first few sentences, laughed and sent Daniel the message. His response was, "You're the perfect target." I knew it. I had gotten messages from Advocare, Rodan + Fields, Mary Kay, and on and on and on (by the way, Advocare IS GREAT! If you want to buy something, contact Kandice Rowe - look on Facebook). Anyway, they just did not interest me at that time. I do like to work out, but selling supplements, vitamins, energy drinks and such was not for me. In other words, the Lord's timing was not right.

Let me back up. My preconceived notions of direct selling products was ... sinful. That's the only word I can use to describe it. I looked at people selling these products as moms who wanted to stay home with their children, not get a "real" job and beg for money from family and friends. How sinful is that??? I am the one now begging for forgiveness for thinking that. These so called pyramid schemes have horrible reputations.

Anyway, I thought about Tiffany's message for awhile. In the Facebook message, she said her business partner was Ms. Lynne Spears. I said to myself, if this well known lady is going to put her name on something, it must be good. I had actually attended a R+F party for my "cousin" Kaitlin, a few months ago in Madison, so I was a little educated on the products. So, Daniel and I thought about it and Ms. Lynne and Ms. Jill called me that Saturday night. Anyway, after days of contemplating (you know my husband.... he was ALL NUMBERS and risks. He wanted to know every single detail. I was like, COME ON! Just let me sign up already!) I am thankful for him. He's super responsible with our money. 

Now, I am a Rodan + Fields independent consultant and a business partner of Ms. Lynne Spears. What. The. Heck. Did I just do? I couldn't sleep for days, because I was so excited about great opportunities! Ms. Lynne and Mrs. Jill are the most encouraging business partners. They make a lot  of money, but it's not about the money! They ENJOY this business. I was just overwhelmed with how much they want to help me. I talk to each of them probably once a day. They're great. 

Whyyy are my pictures so blurry?

Ok, back to what I said earlier. These direct sale "pyramid schemes" have a horrible reputation, do they not? Do you cringe when you see someone who sells ______ because you know it will be awkward? Yeah. In saying that, when I announced I was a Rodan + Fields consultant, the response did not meet my expectations. At all. I actually got a text message from a close friend after announcing it to the Facebook world, it read, "I never thought you'd jump on the skin care train!!!" Boom. I was shocked. This is what people expect of me. I'm a stay-at-home mom. I want to contribute, but don't want to put her in daycare (daycare is NOT bad!). I'm "supposed" to be a what I called, money beggar. I stopped for a second and explained how excited I was to start networking again and planning events! THAT'S MY NICHE! I now feel like I have a purpose. For a year I have been Harper's mom and waiting on her hand and foot.... for crying out loud, what else was I going to do?? Again, I think parenting is more important than making money, but I needed to do this for myself. I feel like me again. I'm contacting people. I'm meeting moms at the park and natural talking to them about R+F (not annoying, hopefully). I'm waking up knowing someone is counting on me, and not just to change a dirty diaper :) I love feeling needed. When people ask (and they frequently do), what my major was, I say, "Human Development and Family Studies, my dad paid out-of-state tuition and I'll never use my degree." That is not true anymore! I am using my Mississippi State degree in this business! I had the honor and privilege of meeting many, different people at State. It was a sweet treat for me. I am so excited I'm getting back to my "old" self. It feels amazing! For a year, I really really struggled. Really struggled. Daniel and I almost moved to Brookhaven in February for a loan officer job. We kept saying, "We might as well move. We don't have any friends here." The week before, we started going to Pear Orchard Presbyterian and friends came out of the woodworks, ha. The Lord's providence. Goodness. Tis so sweet! He was providing for us. And is still providing. Even when we are unfaithful, He is faithful. 

These past 2 weeks have rocked our world. I have been working my tail off every night trying to plan for events. My launch event was last night! We had a great turnout. Thanks to all for coming! It was definitely a learning experience. I learned a lot about the company and about people. I invited.... probably 100 people and about 20 came. 10 cancelled the day of and 10 I was counting on, didn't come. WHICH IS TOTALLY OK! It was also spring break. I am not frustrated or the tinniest bit mad. I would never. It was a GREAT teachable moment for me. You know, don't set such high expectations next time. It was a perfect launch event! It meant so much for the friends and family I love to be there. Ms. Lynne and her team were so welcoming. They made me feel so loved! 

In this journey, I want to help you get better skin. I never want to burden you or pressure you. The products sell themselves. Believe me. I am using the UNBLEMISH regimen now (1 week) and can REALLY tell the difference. It's amazing. These are the same doctors who created Proactiv. Trustworthy. A team of scientists are always working on new and better products. I'm excited to start this new journey! Daniel has been so supportive, too! Yes, we were both #1 skeptics. Like, will never sell a thing, but now, I feel like Mary again. I'm using my God given gift to have relationships with people. I LOVE IT. Sure, I could work behind any desk, but that's just not me. That might be my dad, but that's not me. The Lord made everyone different. I, unlike many people, like to talk and host events! Daniel would die if he had to plan events and talk to people all day. 

Speaking of, we will be in OXFORD on Thursday, March 21! Would love to see you! Really.

At the end of the day, I'm just asking for your support. I'm not asking for money. I would never do that. I am asking that you please come to an event if I'm in your area. Or, Ms. Lynne would LOVE to have an event at your house for me. Just 10 friends and we'll have coffee and cake. No big deal. This business works by word of mouth. It was taken from behind the glass counter at Nordstroms, because friends would ask about someone's skin and they would refer them to Nordstroms. It was all word of mouth and the glow others saw. It's an unbelievable product with a great macro exfoliator. You NEED one! 

Phone: 225.244.0535

Product Website: marykathleen.myrandf.com

Business Website: marykathleen.myrandf.biz

Email: mkksims@gmail.com

Here's just a little preview: 

REDEFINE (Anti-age)

A ton of young people started using this for maintenance on their skin, so R+F renamed it. This is what Ms. Lynne swears by! 

More before and after pictures on my website!

Short video from the doctors!

UNBLEMISH 

(what I'm using - skin feels so soft!)

SO EASY. 

PERFECT for teenage acne

60 DAYS! 

REVERSE

 (what older women start out with to remove sun damage, dark spots and dullness) 

Ms. Lynne uses this in the mornings and REDEFINE at night. 

SOOTHE (redness and sensitive skin)

MACRO-EXFOLLIATOR!!! 

WATCH THIS!!! I can tell the difference in a week!!! 

I would love to talk to you about any of these products! If I can't answer your question, I can send you on to Ms. Lynne! We will have a 3-way chat so I can learn with you. Also, if you just want to learn more about the products (a lot more than I was able to show), let me know! A 10 minute phone call with Ms. Lynne will help you, but really help me learn about the business. 

Look, I completely 110% understand if you are not able to buy the products. But, you don't have to pay for a dermatologist visit or run in Walgreens every month and buy a jar of something that half way works. You'll end up spending more money on over the counter products, when I can give them to you! Ask me how you can save 10% and get free shipping. 

Last thing... RODAN + FIELDS IN THE NEWS:

Would love to talk to you about the business or products. There's so much I didn't touch on! 

Advice

From the time I found out I would be a mother, I wanted advice. Parenthood was something I was looking forward to. Babysitting in high school and college was fun to me. I enjoyed being around children (not babies, children).  Even though I had experience being a “mother”, I wanted advice. Before Harper was born, I would ask mothers, whom I respected,

How to you parent Biblically? What books should I read? What blogs should I read? What did you do wrong that I can learn from? Did you let them watch a lot of TV or not? What routines were best? And on and on and on…

I was searching for methods on how to raise Harper. I was wanting someone to tell me what to do at every second. "What do I do if she cries? Is she hungry?"

Anyway, when Harper arrived, everything clicked. I wasn’t worried about teaching scripture, but just keeping her alive (haha) and loved. That was not very hard. I had received the God given instinct to care for my child.

As time went on and Harper started to learn about the world, I would constantly be entertaining her. Let me back up. My undergraduate degree was in Human Development & Family Studies. In other words, I spent 4 (expensive) years learning about children’s development and how they react with the world around them. I memorized multiple theories on child rearing from great psychologists. I wanted to stimulate Harper’s brain at all times. I would never let her play by herself. I was always there stimulating brain development. I thought this would make her smarter. It made her very active and attached. (Now, she is looking for constant entertainment and me.)

As time went on, I began to question my ability to be a mother. My child cried a lot, wouldn’t sit in a car seat, wanted me to hold her at all times, wouldn’t nap without me, wouldn’t do anything without me there. She had me tied around her finger. I had conditioned her to be very attached. As I became weary, I thought many times to just put her in daycare. I obviously can’t regulate a schedule, nor can I take any more crying. I had no time to myself, or along with Daniel. When I mentioned daycare to Daniel, he was against it. He said that would be the easy way out. Mary, you have to think and figure it out.

For the past year, I have been reading parenting books. I have been so obsessed with parenting advice. I want to read every little bit of it. The bad part about books is, I was letting them do the thinking for me. When I couldn’t get Harper to sleep, I would Google sleep schedules or read Baby Wise. That didn’t work. I even called The Sleep Lady to see if she could help. She certainly could help for about $1000. Daniel laughed for a day about that suggestion. Anyway, I was not thinking for myself. Since Harper was so wild, I trained my mind to think I was inadequate for my job. If someone would say, “Awe, she’s so happy!”, my response was, “It’s because we’re out of the house, and she can look around.” The fact of the matter was, I was doing a fine job of being a mother, but undercutting my ability. Harper Lee Sims is perfectly normal. After telling so many people she wasn’t as well-behaved as she looks, I believed it. The devil, right then and there, stole my joy with her. From then on, I was enslaved to what I would call, parenting sin. I judged my ability to parent. “Am I doing this right? Is she hungry? Is she laughing? Am I being too hard on her?” I would overthink things instead of just enjoying her and discipline her in the Lord. I had lost all confidence. ALL CONFIDENCE.

Daniel and I (Harper, too) have been visiting a new church in the Jackson area. We love First Pres, but lived far from the church. I started attending a women’s Bible study on Wednesdays and putting Harper in the nursery. She did great (after the 1^st Sunday). Last Sunday, we got to stay for the entire service – a treat! Yesterday was a different story, I got buzzed early on and then again at the end. We heard other buzzers going off in church, but not ours. Evidently when Harper cries, the rest of the children cry (so the nursery worker told us). When Daniel and I picked up Harper after church, I could tell the lady over the nursery was semi frustrated that Harper’s crying made the other children upset. I asked her what I should do about the situation. Would Mother’s Morning Out help? Could I get someone to come over and keep her? I sounded like a teenager who knew nothing about parenting. My mind was just so tired and worn out. I just wanted her to say, “Keep bringing her! It will get better!” Daniel and I headed home and he looked at me and said, “Why do you act so stupid? You’re smart! You just don’t think.” He was a little annoyed I stood there and asked advice from 5 other women. I understood his point. I don’t think. I lack confidence now and run to books or respectable people. I feel like I’m brain dead, because I overthink.

Daniel reminded me that this period in Harper’s life is easy. She’s not a teenager. And if we teach her now, she won’t be a rebellious teenager. All we need to do now is love on her, spank her when she disobeys and keep her alive, haha! I used to think if Daniel died, Harper would know nothing about the Bible, because I am not equipped to teach her. Wrong again. That’s just another lie I have been sucked into. I believe one leading factor to me not thinking for myself, is my phone. My handheld computer, who can entertain my mind with Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and shopping takes absolutely no thinking. The only thing I think about during the day is when is Harper’s nap, so I can sleep, too. Honestly. My mind is not at work. Daniel will often times talk to me about scripture or business ideas and he asks, “So what do you think?” and every time I say, “I mean, I don’t know.” (or something unintelligent). I feel like I’m just going through the motions of every day life without using my brain.

Back to the phone issue. My time spent on my phone is unhealthy. Along with not using my mind, I sometimes (although I do love taking pictures and letting others enjoy her!) fall into the sin of pride. Sure, I sew, I embroider, I dress Harper in cute clothes (thanks to my mother), I eat at restaurants, I weigh less after a baby than before, I have the perfect family in the nicest town of Mississippi… sure, I do. I just finished Tim Keller’s 46 page book, The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness. Life changing. Buy it (http://www.amazon.com/Freedom-Self-Forgetfulness-Timothy-Keller/dp/1906173419/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1355182480&sr=8-1&keywords=freedom+of+self-forgetfulness) . Anyway, it talked about pride. I’ll just take a short exerpt from page 18,

“In his famous chapter on pride in Mere Christianity, C.S. Lewis points out that pride is by nature competitive. It is competitiveness that is the very heart of pride. ‘Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next person. We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not. They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better-looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking there would be nothing to be proud about.’ Pride destroys the ability to have any real pleasure.”

Truth. Wow. C.S. Lewis hits the nail on the head. How profitable is it that all 4,000 of my friends on Facebook know I have a wonderful life? None. It’s not good for the family unit, nor Harper. (I need to delete a lot, but it takes forever.) Nothing is private anymore. I am often times upset with myself when I forget to bring my phone in the back while feeding her. What am I supposed to do while I feed her for 20 minutes? ENJOY HER. Pray for her. Love her. Ask God to save her. Like a child, folly is bound up in my heart, also (Proverbs 22:15). The devil attacks us daily. We would be going down the wrong road if he didn’t attack us. He is real. Praise the Lord for a loving husband and child. Daniel and I are reminded when the devil shows up how important it is to memorize and meditate on scripture. THAT’S what Harper will see. She won’t ask me methods on parenting, but imitate every step I make. My relationship with the Lord should shine so bright; she knows I’m a believer without asking (reminds me of Kelli Dart – you can see the love all over her!). THAT’S what she’ll learn form me. Not that I read my daily devotion and parenting book, but that I showed her grace.

I am reminded this is a learning experience. I won’t be perfect at raising her. I will fail multiple times, humble myself and ask for forgiveness. I will sin; that’s a fact. I am looking forward to the freedom in parenting. Being enslaved entertains your mind in a negative way. I pray God will hear my prayer, I will meditate/ memorize and put my relationship with Him above all. Harper was made for God. Now I’m going to enjoy her J

To all parents/ grandparents, I would highly suggest you read Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp. It has been very eye-opening! I talked to our Children’s Director, John Kwasny (LA people might know him, from Plains Presbyterian), and he recommended it, also. I am so thankful to have him in Jackson!

Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night. 

(I'll add pictures tomorrow. Daniel is home alone with Wild Bill. I know he's secretly stressed.)